Boxing And The Light Bulb Moments

The 3rd light

Failure

By this point in my training my footwork had become pretty good.

It wasn't unusual for me to get compliments on my moment.

I could pivot , shuffle , step back , cut off , transition from outside to inside and control my opponent with my feet.

However Coach didn't see it that way. Coach Billy would constantly tell me to take smaller steps. When I sparred it was common to hear him call "even smaller yet becky"

" shorten that step up" "smaller than you think"

No matter how many times he said it

It was something that my mind wouldn't and couldn't comprehend.

My feet didnt want to cooperate

My awareness stared to change after we hosted Martin Wheeler at the gym for a Systema seminar.

During the seminar I listened to Martin carefully as he gave away pearls of wisdom in every sentence he uttered.

It was while listening in to one of his conversations with a student I learnt something important.

He asked the student why they were training JiuJitsu.

Martin asked what his goal was and the student struggled with his response.

Martin kept on prodding him until the student said

" to learn "

Martin then asked him this question ,

"what would happen if you trained and instead of trying to win you let yourself fail? "

This stuck with me and the idea was planted.

I started to wonder what would happen if I sparred and instead of trying to win/beat my opponent I allowed myself to fail.

I wanted to find answers to my questions.

Why couldnt i do those smaller steps?

What was holding me back?

Obviously something was.

• I realized my fear was blocking me from doing those smaller steps

• I realized that I was afraid to fail.

• I was afraid if I did a smaller step and I did it wrong I would be punished for it by my opponent.

• I was afraid I wouldn't do it right and that my coach would be dissapointed in me.

• I was afraid if I messed up people wouldn't see what I had achieved so far and would only see my failure.

• I was afraid of what would happen to me as a consequence.

With this new found realization I knew that to be able to do the smaller step during sparring I had to stop blocking myself .

I had to allow myself to fail

I had to face my fears.

So I did.

I failed a few times at first but I was able to learn from the failure

I saw that none of my fears came true

I persisted and made adjustments .

In time I was able to make those small steps.

Consequently my boxing skill and awareness stepped up.

I faced my fear of failure

I let my self fail

I improved in the game

I learnt the power of small steps

Boxing And The LightBulb Moments #2

The 2nd Light

When I had my second major realization in boxing I had been sparring for a while.

I'd progressed from sparring at my gym to visiting a local Mexican gym and getting sparring in there with the young boys a couple of times a week.

Sparring there was HARD

Their motto was

"there's always a fight here any day of the week"

Not Sparring - Fighting

At this point in my training I was constantly hearing advice such as "keep your chin down",

"stare at their chest not their face ",

"don't look up"

"dont stand up"

I thought my chin was down , I thought I was staying down pretty damn low , I was also starting to feel pretty confident with myself.

I'd get in the ring trade blows and then spend time looking at what I'd done.

The problem was I didn't realize that what I was doing was wrong .

I was looking to see if I had hit , I needed to know if I'd made a good conection..

I was curious as to the look on their face after I hit them , what would their emotions show?

Are they bleeding ?

Black eye?

Did it hurt?

Am I strong?

I had completely the wrong mind set.

So one day I was sparring over there like usual and they brought me in a new sparring partner.

He was bigger , faster and stronger.

Pretty early into the second round he caught me right on the chin , his punch landed cleanly on the sweet spot.

I had been flashed out before and being rocked wasn't new to me. When you are flashed out you get this white light, a bright spark flashes across your vision as your brain temporarily stops working.

I had also been on the recieving end of multiple black eyes and fat lips , but until then I hadn't been hit so hard sparring that I was left on the very thin edge of consciousness.

The light I saw was a deep dark swarming purple.

It scared me.

I don't remember the rest of that round but I do know the sparring ended early that day.

I went home shaken up.

I didn't talk about it.

I kept it inside. However the truth was that day was the first day I ever wanted to quit boxing.

I sat at home and I sulked and I wallowed

I avoided the gym for a whole week, which for a gym rat like me was a big deal .

Then I had my 2nd lightbulb moment.

I talked to myself

" that sucked right?"

" well yeah"

" ok so you can walk away from it , you can quit or...."

"or what?"

" or you can do what your coach has been telling you since day one. Keep your chin down and stay down low. If your chin was protected you wouldnt have been hit like that"

So instead of quitting I made a vow.

I Vowed to never be hurt like that again.

I vowed to keep my chin down.

It was that easy .

So simple.

Because of that vow I've never been hit like that since.

I got to keep doing a sport I love and I make sure to protect myself at all times.

The second light taught me not to get hung up on others reactions to my actions.

I don't look or check to see how they are reacting.

I place my shots and I concentrate on protecting myself.

Boxing & The First Light Bulb Moment

The first time I experienced the lightbulb moment I was still very new to sparring .

I had recently started working with Pro Boxer Stephen Ivory.

When I first started sparring with him everything moved so fast. Punches were flying at me and it felt like the world had sped up .

I couldn't process everything that was happening and I was trying to survive in there rather than actually do or achieve anything. The advice I was constantly given was "Relax Becky, just relax"

But during those moments in the ring getting punched hard in the face and body that wasn't so easy to achieve.

" Alright I get it just relax , I'm trying to relax" I'd mutter to myself not truly listening to or accepting the advice.

I've never been one to quit something hard so

I kept on getting in to the ring , day after day , week after week to be dealt my punishment.

The world would get faster and I'd try to survive. Then go home and repeat it all over again the next day.

Eventually I became tired of being so fearful and of stressing out so much before and during the sparring.

One day I climbed Into the ring and with a shrug of my shoulders and an air of giving up I said to myself

" Fine you win. I'm going to relax , I give up. Relaxing is all I have to do. What does it matter if I get hurt, I'm getting hurt anyway."

That day I chose to be different. I relaxed and the whole world slowed down. Right there in the middle of sparring Steve during the second round.

When the world became slower I started to see openings. I could see what was coming at me and make plans and most importantly I could breathe .

The gym itself got brighter and it truly seemed like a lightbulb had been turned on .

Did I spar flawlessly that round? No, but I sparred better.

My coach Billy Smith was watching it all and he knew that something had changed in me at that moment.

That Light Bulb Moment taught me to always be open to advice and to try something new however uncomfortable it might feel.

Don't quit!

Everytime you learn something new the whole world changes.